Written by Jax Bath
This is my second blog for Lonely Conservationists. My first blog focused primarily on the glaring issues I see impacting the most passionate people in our industry. I have been meaning to write this second blog for a long time, about what it means to be a woman in an industry dominated by men. Perhaps more so, to be a sensitive woman in an industry where being capable and “outdoorsy” is often confused with brutishness.
I recently resigned from a management position in which I failed. It was my very first management position for an “eco-tourism” company. In the almost-year that I was there as the manager, I could not get the male staff to listen to me and do what was asked. Regardless of how the message was delivered, whether it was written or verbal, long explanation or short, they simply did what they felt was best.
I have had some “bad managers” myself, so the first thing you’re probably thinking is “What did you do wrong?” and that was my first thought too. I have always been a worker bee. I am in the 9th year of my career and have accumulated a lot of knowledge, skills and certifications over the years. As a woman, I am perceived to be never quite good enough or skilled enough and so I push myself to always keep learning and improving.
Worker bees often make bad managers because they don’t delegate. Everyone hates being micromanaged, and I kept these pitfalls in mind as I took this position on. At first I was managing someone who was more experienced in their role but did not have the skills to manage, and then someone who had only worked in the industry for a very short period of time. These individuals were both men, in their role as “lead guide” and would not listen to a word I said. During my time with the business, I tried very hard to promote minimal wildlife disturbance on kayaks, with multiple studies proving that kayaks often cause more disturbance than boats for whales and seabirds alike.
I contacted experts and got advice from internationally renowned scientists, which the guides ignored despite numerous pleas to follow the best practice protocols. Earlier this year, when rabies was confirmed in our local seal population, I also implemented protocols to keep guests safe which were also blatantly ignored by the staff despite their negligence potentially putting them at risk of lawsuits.
Most of my instructions were associated with safety and ethics, apart from my need for staff to arrive on time due to the time-sensitive nature of the work. I understand that no one wants to follow stupid rules, but I struggled to fathom why instructions with valid reasons were blatantly ignored.
The male staff frequently undermined me as a manager, spoke aggressively towards me, and refused to do what was asked- but then bossed other staff around. Despite numerous requests, they never changed their behaviour. Though they claimed to be supportive, no action was ever taken to enforce what was being asked, despite agreeing that what I was asking for was reasonable.
Eventually, after becoming sick and severely burned out, I resigned from the company. Not too long after, the person who was the reason I resigned was promoted to manager. During this time, I was doing some training with an extremely experienced boat captain. I have 3 licences and still continue to spend lots of money on boating because I never quite feel good enough. He said to me after a day’s training:
“You have all the skills, you just lack the confidence”.
This really stuck with me because I have worked with wonderful men on international vessels who are so supportive and tell me that I am great at my job and that I’m a leader in the making. In contrast, in my own country, no matter what I do, how I do it, or how much I achieve, regardless of the thousands of hours of experience, men will always doubt that I can do the job and make the calls.
How can a woman ever become confident in herself when every decision she makes at work is constantly questioned? It’s really had me wondering:
- are women set up to fail in leadership positions in industries where misogyny is rife?
- what inner traits does it take for a woman to succeed in leadership in these industries?
- what structures within businesses and organisations will allow women to succeed?
- can you succeed as a woman in a leadership position after being traumatized by men early in your career? (read – can I manage men If I become scared when they are aggressive?)
- could I have done better, did I fail because I am weak or was it an impossible task?
In times of uncertainty and failure, I like to seek out the wisdom of those who have come before me to learn, do better, and to try to have some sort of road map to work from. In this experience, I have felt so alone because I know so few women who have been in a similar situation.
I haven’t been able to shake the anger and hurt I have felt over the situation, and I have felt that perhaps the only way to do so is to master it by trying to help others. Perhaps a better question would be: “How do we equip women to better lead and succeed in male-dominated environments?”
Perhaps as a community, we might be able to come up with some examples of women who are great leaders, and get some advice on how to become them. Their stories of success and failure, make leading in male-dominated fields feel a little less lonely.
For more of Jax, check out @jax_bath on Instagram